Fighting back against the phone

or, is it that damn phone?

I’ve seen a lot of posts from folks considering ways to spend less time online or on their phones. And I’ve had a few people say that things I’ve done have helped them accomplish those goals. So for whatever it’s worth I’m writing this article about why/how/what I’ve done to reduce my screen and social media time. I hope you can this will be helpful to at least some of you! Feel free to skip down to the second heading to see the specific tools/techniques I used.

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Why did I want to ditch the screens?

In many ways my reasons are similar to most I see posting about this topic—I felt like I was wasting time and that the content wasn’t making me feel better or actually helping me get anything done. But there are some more concrete reasons I want to share as well.

We are largely no longer in control of what we see. Recommendation algorithms end up putting content in front of our eyes using methods almost nobody really understands (but probably have something to do with maximizing revenues). And, well, I think it’s breaking our brains. When you have that finely tuned, algorithmically tailored firehose of information just coming at you like that, you might feel like you’re having a good time and learning some interesting things, but you’re not necessarily directing your own experience. Is your train of thought really your own when the next swipe might derail it?

-Tech Connections (highly recommend the video it's from)

The longer I’ve been off of most platforms, the more I’ve considered how curated content algorithms on most platforms feed us information instead of fostering actual information foraging (and now the AI slop machine is making it worse). While there are certainly times these content algorithms have helped me make fascinating discoveries about new topics or learn about myself and find connections during COVID lockdowns, especially during my early days of TikTok, I’m increasingly wary of not only the overload that the firehose of information causes but also the fact that a handful of tech companies are largely determining what we see and when we see it. Certainly this is true of even Google search, but these social media feeds give us even less autonomy. In general, around the end of 2024 and into early 2025, I was feeling very disappointed in how most social media platforms were handling content moderation, especially after the election. The brief TikTok “ban” and the changes I noticed in content after (including their message of thanks to a certain president) were enough to break any spell it had over me.

I also feel a broader desire to reduce my time online. I was starting to remember how I felt as a child, specifically how the world around me had so many wonders to offer and provides endless opportunities for curiosity. And yet I was addicted to the online world that was often devoid of reality.

There was also the fact that I could feel social media making me feel disdain for people who didn’t share exactly my same views while simultaneously being the source of many of those views (it was impossible to think critically about everything I saw). I felt insane when I realized I was about to type an angry reply to someone that may have been a bot instead of doing literally anything else with my time. I also felt exhausted by the constant push to buy things via ads and the “30 second solutions” (many of which were actually just covert ads for a product or service or AI tool) promising to cut the effort something would take in half or magically solve some problem—spoiler alert, it’s never that simple. I also started to notice the divide between the digital frictionless world and how it was a convenient escape from the world around me that as so full of turmoil. I didn’t quite have words for what I was experiencing until I read this fantastic article about friction from

kyla scanlon

on here, you should absolutely subscribe to her.

What I changed

Sometime around the end of January I deleted TikTok, Facebook, and Instagram. And by deleted I mean the full account not just apps, partly because I wanted to take advantage of the resentment I was feeling towards those platforms to break the cycle and partly because I didn’t fully trust myself to keep the apps deactivated or off of my phone if I started checking them again. For some people, deactivating or just using browser-only versions are enough but I had to go full scorched earth. A little later on for semi-unrelated reasons I said goodbye to dating apps too.

I kept YouTube and Substack (which I was fairly new to at the time), but didn’t really have any other platforms. I kept these partly because I liked the long-form content they provided and felt like I could search for my own content or more intentionally subscribe to specific channels or newsletters without it being diluted by a bunch of other content being forced onto me. And they helped me keep some form of online community.

After a little time without social media apps, I noticed how quickly I turned to things like checking email or searching on my phone’s browser instead. I felt like I needed some way to force myself to break the muscle memory of tapping and swiping between all kinds of different content. Screen time limits were too easy to ignore and tap past for me. So I started using a thing called “Brick” that lets you set restrictions on which apps you can access (including blocking Safari on iPhones) and requires that you tap a physical device with your phone to lock/unlock the apps. Blocking my browser and non-work email access for hours at a time helped immensely, and there were even days where I left the brick at my office so I wouldn’t be tempted to just go unlock my phone’s apps at night. Even now I still use it, mostly by bricking my apps at night before going to bed so that I can’t fall back into scrolling through feeds or checking emails when I first get up in the morning; I usually don’t let myself unlock my phone until after I’ve had my coffee.

Was it worth it?

I’d say the changes I’ve made have absolutely been worth it. Even though I never spent massive amounts of time on social media and didn’t need to scroll to fall asleep, I feel like I’ve slowly regained time and some of my focus. Most of the time I don’t miss the platforms I deleted, Here are some other things I’ve started to noticed after making these changes:

• I more quickly identify when I’m starting to waste time chasing down information feeds for no reason other than I’m bored

• I realized how much free time I added, mostly on week nights (I’m not married and don’t have children and acknowledge those responsibilities can take up a lot of time for many people).

• I have a more consistent morning routine now that often involves sketching and/or journaling for a few minutes instead of scrolling or reading on my screen

• I take more walks in green spaces around me and feel more present when I do (trees have never been so beautiful)

• Because I couldn’t quickly “connect” with as many other people and had more free time, I started going to more things during the week like volunteer events and writing groups

• I began to learn the times of day I should avoid unnecessary screen time (for me if I can mostly avoid curated feeds until the afternoon or evening I find myself more able to focus and stay on task earlier in the day when I have more energy)

• I’m better at noticing when I’m tired (side note, I’ve been able to maintain closer to an ideal sleep schedule and I’m taking more naps). Media platforms’ greatest competitor after all is sleep

• I buy fewer things

• I was mostly able to replace finding events on instagram or Facebook with email newsletters and lists from local organizations

• I now am acutely aware of how often most people I encounter in public are on their phones (like on the train or waiting in line) lol. I’ve gotten slightly better at making conversation with other people around me who aren’t on their phones (but I still have plenty of social anxiety that gets in the way)

It’s still exceedingly easy to get sucked into the world of my phone. Between emails, substack, group chats, and just browsing the internet in general I can still find myself spending half an hour or more at a time switching between tasks on my phone that are unrelated to my actual goals or desires for how to use that time. The longer I’ve been off of most social media, the more often I can actually identify when I’m starting to waste time chasing down information feeds for no reason other than I’m bored.

Downsides

There are some things I miss about those platforms for sure. I met great some friends (many of whom I’ve ended up meeting IRL) on social media platforms, especially Twitter (pre X era) and TikTok. I do sometimes miss being able to see what friends in other cities are up to (if there’s one thing about me it’s that I have an extremely hard time letting go of people). It made it harder to reach out to some people too, and new people I meet sometimes ask me for my instagram handle. Conversely, that’s made me appreciate the people who are willing to reciprocate the effort of staying in touch or making plans—and I have a couple of friends now where we send each other pictures we take or book recommendations almost every day :'). When I’m too tired to make plans some nights I do sometimes miss the convenience of the curated content feeds, but I do still have YouTube and TV shows if I’m too unfocused for reading or other hobbies.

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Overall, I have found great joy and peace in re-engaging with the real world, even with all of its flaws, instead of the smooth experience that our phones and much of the internet in general provides. In many ways I want to cut back on my screen time even more. I want to get better at planning things with friends or going to events more often. And full disclosure I still find myself spending more time on Substack or YouTube than I’d like to. But I generally find the community, especially on here, inspires me to write or create or think about things in a new way more so than other social media platforms have, and a lot of the time I spend is reading long-form articles.

As always ily and I hope you got something out of this <3 Feel free to share things that have worked for you in then comments!!