Before we begin, I invite you to stop reading and take three deep breaths… or more if you need it.
This topic of finding time for short pauses in our busy lives has been on my mind for some time, yet I am not quite ready to write about it in as much depth as I’d like. So I am compromising with myself because I feel this is so relevant as we brace for a tumultuous period, at least here in the United States, full of alarming, sensational, and confusing media content. I plan to write a complementary article in the near future where I can dive into the science and philosophy behind the ideas I enumerate here, but it important to me to get these thoughts out into the world in the meantime. Perhaps I just need the reminder myself, and hope this finds at least one other person who feels the same way.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
What do I mean when I say pause? In general, I simply mean what the word implies in a broad sense—taking a few seconds to stop what you’re doing, whatever information you’re ingesting, or the response you’re forming in your head. Simple as that. For me, I often incorporate a mindfulness technique into this process, such as focusing on my breath. I plan to expand on some of these techniques and readings or videos that helped me with my own mindfulness and meditation practices1 in a future article (sorry for the refrain…), but for now I will leave you with that definition.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
These short pauses help us to catch our (metaphorical) breath and allow our mind (especially prefrontal cortex) to catch up to the moment. Indeed as we become practiced with pausing, especially through techniques like meditation2, we can actually begin to slow down our fight or flight instinct and allow ourselves at least a little bit of time to more earnestly evaluate if there is a physical threat to our safety. If there isn’t, we may draw awareness to the fact that the information we’re receiving or situation we’re in is causing unnecessary stress and, if possible, remove ourselves from it.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Personally, I often find myself focusing on pausing in the context of the constant information from the internet and political conversations I seem to find myself tangled up in these days. I strive to use those quiet moments to critically appraise the information I hear and decide whether or not it serves me (both intellectually and emotionally) to continue engaging and consuming.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
For me, the affordance of even a couple of seconds for curiosity about myself, other people, or my surroundings is the sweetest part of a pause. Here are some specific questions I like to consider during those moments:
What assumptions am I making about the person sitting across from me, or the source of information I’m hearing?
How am I feeling in this moment, and how are my emotions changing how I think or respond right now?
What is this piece of content trying to convince me of?
What conclusions am I drawing based on what I just read or watched, and is there conflicting evidence that the source failed to mention?3
Am I seeing this person for who they are, including the good in them and the fact that we share the same, often difficult condition of being human?
Am I noticing my surroundings, and what are they?
What is beautiful or unique about this moment?
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Pausing is hard, of course. Turning off the faucet of constant information, whether it be social media, news, TV, or even books, is certainly challenging. Especially because so much of this content is designed to keep us engaged (or, let’s be honest, straight up addicted). But, in my experience at least, it is well worth the effort, even if I still forget to pause more often than I’d like. I would even venture to say that pausing is an act of resistance. Resistance against the demand for our attention from all angles. Resistance against the people who try to incite a reaction. Resistance against the assumptions or biases that are ingrained in us.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Ultimately, I believe that when we take a step back and have a quiet moment, what we should do next and how we should react come into view. I have found that my knee jerk reactions tend to give way to more thoughtful and kind responses, both to my own emotions and to other people.
An accessible and short book on this topic that I enjoyed is “Silence” by Thich Nhat Hanh. ISBN-13: 978-0062224705.
Kral TRA, Schuyler BS, Mumford JA, Rosenkranz MA, Lutz A, Davidson RJ. Impact of short- and long-term mindfulness meditation training on amygdala reactivity to emotional stimuli. Neuroimage. 2018 Nov 1;181:301-313. doi: 10.1016/j.neuroimage.2018.07.013. Epub 2018 Jul 7. PMID: 29990584; PMCID: PMC6671286.
While in the middle of writing this today I came across a Hank Green TikTok video that provides an excellent example of what I’m referring to, specifically how we get tricked into believing conspiracy theories based on a presentation of very select puzzle pieces that lead us to an incorrect conclusion. He also expanded upon this idea in an excellent YouTube video.
Love this. We often forget how simple it is to keep in touch with our heart, our breath, even in the most difficult times. Thank you for this reminder 💟